Happy Valentine's!

This one's for the lovers—the poor saps standing in line at the Jewel tonight after work, clutching their desperate supermarket bouquets and calculating how much trouble they'll be in when they get home, and their XX analogs, who, coupled or not, tally their self-worth based on how much money some dude spent to deliver the Sir Loves-a-Lot teddy bear and candy combo basket to Kim in account services.