Kelly Erickson Has It All Figured Out

This stuff makes me so mad.

No fucking doy men and women think and act and process differently. (Psst, they also have different privates. No lie!)

How bad sitcom writers and marketing gurus like Kelly Erikson (Obsessed with your success!") get paid scads of money to boil those differences down to their most broad-stroked, stereotypical base is beyond me. According to Kelly Erikson, anything designed, bought, sold, written, manufactured, or desired is done so with one simple tenant in mind: Girls think with their brains! Boys think with their dinks! Girls consider the future. Boys want everything right now. Blah, blah, fucking blah. (Statistics, studies, or citations to back these assertions up, it seems, are relevant to neither men nor women, as they appear nowhere in Erikson's essay.)

Nonetheless, kudos to you, Kelly Erikson, for your brills social acumen. I hope your thoroughly modern views make you rich beyond your wildest dreams. But just in case that whole marketing consultant thing doesn't pan out, I hear Veronica's Closet is coming back and they're looking for someone to write a killer bit about diet TV dinners in pink boxes.